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| due to consistent public demand, I shall now update.
just a while ago, my 9-year-old niece received a severe bashing from my brother, my sis-in-law, and me. hayy..ang tamad kasi mag-aral. Her parents kept telling her, "Alam mo, nung kasing edad mo si Ako mo, nag-aaral na siya mag-isa, kaya na niyang mag-construct ng sentences, blah, blah, blah..." Ako naman, being an achiever and a diligent worker, am really frustrated at the way she studies--if "studying" is what she calls what she's doing in school now. Tipong, she studies just for the sake of passing. How can she not aim for something higher than that? And after passing, how can she not incorporate the lessons she's learned in her mind and use these lessons as a stepping stone for the next level? Hindi naman kasi learning ang priority niya in the first place. Wala talagang progress na mangyayari niyan. Kasi after every lesson, "weee!!!" Laro na ang nasa isip. I mean, take math for example, once you've learned fractions, you shouldn't just throw them away after your periodical exams. You have to let it stick because you'll be facing more complex problems in the future. Parang si Lucy sa 50 first dates eh...super short term memory...Pero eto lang nga, intentional and motivated forgetting. Blech...She will just self-destruct...definitely on the way to atrophy if she doesn't change direction soon...you know what I'm saying? What if she reaches college and ganito pa rin siya? Na everything has to be spoon fed to her?!?!
Ha! pwhew...so many things...have to be in school mode right this moment even if legitimately, I should have three more days to enjoy. I just came from reg kanina. I just realized na sobrang sabog pala ng sched ko. Pero ok lang siguro. Four months na lang naman.
so many things to pray for...so many things I want to take on...so many frustrating and discouraging people...so big a world to change...so few resources...so little time...so limited a body...
hayy...maybe I should spend less time typing emails instructing my staff in summer con. Nobody reads 'em! In the end, I'll have to explain things all over again. Blech... ang hirap na may vision ka and you have enthusiasm for this vision but others just don't share it with you...I'm always a maverick. Even if I don't want to, people are just pushing me to the margins.
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| hindi ako pumasok ngayon kasi isa lang klase ko. Tamad attack na naman. Actually, I'm in a stupor lang talaga. Yesterday, I saw a coursemate who claims to be a Christian, goes to church and Bible study regularly--smoke. I was so disappointed, confused, frustrated, discouraged...lahat-lahat na...The only positive thing this incident did me is that it made me more sober. Not all things are all smiles and cherries in an ice cream. The thing troubled me the whole day. Sabi sakin ni God sa quiet time, we cannot create desires in other people...all we are asked to do is to love God and obey. Let's just let other people see that and leave the decision to them on whether or not they'll follow suit. Live and let live, kumbaga. We can only do so much. On the other hand, I don't want to turn a blind eye on the sin naman. Brother in Christ ko rin naman siya. Pero sin nga ba ang mag-smoke? Heto na naman tayo... So ayun, sana lang maging productive tong araw na to...na hindi ko masyadong isipin yun. | | |
| hay, dami na naman gagawin... mukhang tuloy-tuloy na talaga lahat starting next week. This week lang nga yung medyo relax. Ito yung mga tipong weeks na tinatawag nilang "The calm before the storm." So if you yourself are stressed out, stop reading because I'll just be verbalizing--or rather, articulating the mental notes I've created in my mind so that I'll be more guided.
Journalism - wala pa naman sinasabing sched. But given na yung pagbasa sa mga uploaded handouts, newspapers. Dapat na rin mag-umpisang mag-compute ng grades para hindi mabigla come grade distribution day. Need to psyche myself up.
CS - kailangan na ng proposal next week. I need some thinking time for that. Ano kayang laman dapat nung proposal? I also need to ask Mariam for a copy of the PDF file of the Adobe Indesign Classroom in a Book. Wala lang...trip ko lang ma-master yung Adobe Indesign tools. Tuwang-tuwa kasi ako dun (at kay Tran...Hahaha). I feel so creative. Haha
Philo - we need to pass a proposal next week also. Again, ano na naman ang kailangan ilagay dun? boo...where was I when Bro. Weyms was explaining about this. I know kailangan din ng philosophical perspective.
So kailangan ko rin i-master yung mga philosophies ng mga philosophers. Syempre para hindi naman ako maging free loader sa group.
And I need to read up on Aquinas. Wala na nga akong nabasa masyado dun kay Aristotle.
Theo - Gusto ko nang basahin yung mga readings na required for the reflection paper that will be due next thursday para magawa ko na siya. Feeling ko kasi I will be too brain-racked next week.
And then theres the readings of course. I need to start up on the readings 'coz ayaw ko na mangyari yung kagaya sa last long test na super madalian lang yung pag-aaral ko.
But before all these, aayusin ko muna yung mga papel na pinagbibibigay ni Sir sa min. Dami talaga e... Hopefully mabasa ko na as I order everything.
And then ask ko yung mga groupmates kung anong naiisip nila na presentation. Also, kung sinong mag-sa-sign up sa amin.
Advertising - find a contact for Media Force. Set an interview
LS - may group paper pa pala ?!?!
CTK - proposal...enough said!
Lord, give me the courage to face these tasks head on. If I am weakening, help me realize that there's no other way to go except forward...that the only way I can escape all these is if I finish it until the very end.
And when I do finish, help me to finish with excellence.
Please fill my mind with creative ideas especially for the CS project and the CTK. May I also be creative in the way I go about my work.
Thanks talaga for your abundant blessings for this sem. Grabe, there were times na parang lumusot lang talaga ako sa butas ng karayom sa sobrang complicated ng situation even in the nitty-gritties... Salamat talaga.
And for the future...ayun...There's an opportunity again in Johnsons & Johnsons that I signed up in. Nothing to lose naman. Pero for yung permament employment na, sana ok yung mapupuntahan kong workplace after graduating. And sana wag sa Makati. Kung pwede lang naman. Hahaha...Nakaka-intimidate kasi itsura ng Makati. Parang sobrang stiff /rigid at hindi friendly. (Meron pa palang ganon) Or sa Canada? But ultimately, sunod lang naman ako sa inyo Lord.
In Christ name, Amen | | |
| I praise God because He has continually been leading me to fresh waters to drink and see things anew. Last night, the passage during my quiet time came from Galatians 4: 8 -16. Together with the supplement, it made me realize the freedom that I now have in Christ and that I should now enjoy. Alanis Morisette's song Perfect kept playing in my mind while I was having quiet time last night:
Be a good boy
You gotta try a little harder
That simply wasn't good enough
To make us proud...
you gotta measure up...
But in Christ, I don't have to measure up to anyone. I simply stand before God covered with Jesus' blood.
But of course, that doesn't mean that I could go about recklessly doing whatever I want. Ptr. Nathan Leigh spoke on Christian liberties last Saturday. Galing nga ng timing e, kasi I was planning to have another piercing in the upper lobe of my ear, but I don't know if it was "Biblically ok". Sabi ni Nathan Leigh, we all have our convictions based on our faith. He can watch any movie as long as it doesn't defame the Lord's name. On the other end, a friend of his doesn't want to watch a movie that has even the tiniest bit of cuss word in it.
And so, what was the answer that I got? Ewan ko pa rin. The most commonly cited passage on Christian liberties is the one that says that we must not do anything that will make a brother stumble. If I pierce my ears...it'll look cool! Rockin'! I want to change my image of being too holy, too-out of this world, sooo "up there" (and hence irrelevant) kasi. I want to build as many friendships as I can and as strong as I can so that I can bring people to Christ.
I can put in as many reasons as I can to win this argument. The list goes on. But the fact still remains that mutiple piercings is still a taboo in the church and in the society. And anyone with mutiple piercings is seen "differently". I don't really care much if the old ones see me as bad. Pero ibang kaso sa mga mas bata sa akin.
So ewan ko pa...For others, the answer for this might be very easy. Again, it's based on the amount of faith one's got. But in everything, pray.
But again, I am free! Thanks again Lord for letting me see things in a new perspective day by day and for letting me have a deeper appreciation of the weight of Jesus' sacrifice on the cross.
Nung Xposed summer camp din nga, Ptr. Robbie Casas made me see my state before I received Christ more clearly too. He told of three bodies in the morgue. The first one died from heart attack. So physically, his body still looks ok. The second one died from a car accident. His/her limbs were already askew. The third one died from 3rd degree burn. This one's body was the worst-looking of them all because it was already black and scarred. But no matter how clean or how awful the bodies looked, all of them are still dead. If I poke the side of the first body --or the second, or the third--with a fork, it will not respond unless God breathes life into it. In the same way, no matter how good someone looks because of his deeds, he is dead. Ptr. Robbie joked that even if you put the person beside him and Ptr. Casas preaches the Gospel to him all night, the person won't understand--much more respond! Even the understanding must come from God.
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| ho-kay. I take it back. Maybe it wasn't so bad after all. Well, we'll see. It's an entirely different case during weekdays kasi. I don't have the four walls of the church around me. Instead, I'm faced with the beautiful but vast campus grounds of Ateneo where I feel as if most of my day is spent walking and going around. I don't have tear-jerking, heart-moving songs about God to hear and sing. Walang godly people na pwedeng kausapin, yun mag-eencourage at ma-e-encourage within the week. I'm just faced with strangers who go about with their own lives. I told my BS group nga in one session, I feel as if I'm inhaling polluted air all through the week. But whenever I come to church in weekends, it's like I'm inhaling a breath of fresh air. And I try as hard as I could to inhale all the fresh air I could to take with me to the battle of the week again.
Actually, available naman ang fresh air 24/7 e. I just don't take hold of it.
Ever since I started with the BS, Tommy has continually been talking/coordinating with me...bugging me with how God has been working in his life and ministry, bugging me to get a partner in leading, bugging me to find a discipler who will take care of me. Yes, it has all been bugging me. Parang kasi it's all forcing me to grow up all at once. Can't we take it slow?
Pero I understand Tommy's efforts now. And I remember I prayed to God that I be part of something BIG. Baka eto na nga yung sagot niya sa akin...yung ma-reform yung church namin to love and thirst after the Word of God above all. So if I don't start to be disciplined, I don't deserve to dream and be a part of the endeavor.
Btw, hi Alvin hia! Thanks for reading! O ayan, hindi na mahaba tong entry na to. Kinakausap mo kasi ako sa YM e. Hehe...
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